Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Versprechen

here is the beginning of the book I am writing. so please be kind and tell me what you think.



I do not know when it started, this feeling of a waking dream… memories that are not my own of a past and a life that I feel is mine but is watched as someone else lives in me. It makes me feel mad absolutely insane in this catatonic yet awake and moving state.
I can remember when I first noticed I was young it felt like a panic attack yet different because within my panic I pushed or withdrew into myself and watched as I reacted to everything that was said or done though it was all very uncharacteristic of my anger violence hate and rage spiked from me in manners I knew nothing of….
Blinking awake as sunshine burned threw my eyes to a Room I knew was not mine it was formal with a high four post bed and it was red and black, clothes that were Old from the look of them something of the middle ages Arthurian times or a little later. sitting up I gazed around the room hoping to get my Barings praying the this was just one of my friends horrible jokes on my and put me in one of their rooms this was not any of my friends rooms buzzing in my ears and a faint mumble then I relies that there is someone talking to me and I am not hearing what they are saying “what did you say? Could you please repeat that for me?” the man about 35 with long black hair stood and stared with cold ice blue eyes his build was familiar yet I couldn’t place where I knew him from he was dressed in a simple black tunic and pants no, no he was wearing breaches he opened his mouth to speak they were read like rubes I know I was staring but I could help it “ My Lady Til’leanah Aiden I came to see if you were well you had another fainting spell that is the third one this week.” His voice was a beautiful deep tenor almost baritone spoken like liquid silk “I am Confused as to where I am I can’t remember anything and I feel very out of place like I should be some were else.” I spoke slow and awfully broken like I hadn’t used my voice in years and by the shock on his face I can tell that either I did something wrong or he wasn’t expecting me to acknowledge him at all “did I do something wrong” I questioned him he again looked shocked “N-n-n-o My Lady” he was stuttering something wasn’t right....

Saturday, March 26, 2011

third night

Map time bed time have turned into horrifing battles of me trying to get my daughter to bed.
It starts as normal crying then histarical she cried to the point of barfing twice and gasping for air then when that didn't.(but still keep doing) Work she thew things. Then the scary things happend she started hitting herself clawing at her skin pulling her hair trying to pull her toes and fingers off she would scream cry kick even more if i tried to comfort her in any way screaming and kicking it when on for 45 minutes fill i opened the door swaddled her and rocked her to sleep. Her behaviour has progressivly gotten works sense she got more time with her father i an getting really wirried but feel helpless to do anything.
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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Garter Belt

so I am looking for a garterbelt pattern cant find one anywhere tho I did find one on http://newvintagelady.blogspot.com/2010/08/making-my-own-girdle-cause-no-one-said_21.html

but I am not sooo sure caue I wanna be able to wear it with my dresses that I am making (total midieval style XD) I really wish I could find one it would amke keeping me stocking up alot easer D:

Friday, February 11, 2011